Start coordinates: 45 degrees, 55 minutes, 20 seconds north...
Dear journalists, from this very spot, 50 years ago,
Yuri Gagarin launched into space.
And today, again from Baikonur,
three cosmonauts will take another flight into space.
Let me introduce them:
Sergej Sokholov, Russia, Kairat Isabaev, Kazakhstan,
and French space tourist Julie Mahé!
Soyuz TMA ready to start!
God bless you!
God grant that all goes well!
Go with God!
Ready to start...
in one minute. Number one!
"Ready to start" accepted.
Moscow acknowledges!
Take-off weight: 819 tons.
Gagarin!
Let's go! To the east!
Yes, go on! Go and poison yourselves!
All this for some cans of dog food?
Copy that!
Start blast-off!
Execute blast-off!
Prepare for empty fuel tank separation!
Empty fuel tanks separated!
Bastards... Forward!
Hands off! That stuff doesn't belong to you!
Thieves... parasites!
Want me to cut your balls off?
Be quiet, Adylgej! Remember the law of our ancestors.
What crap are you talking about, Rustam?
Whatever falls from heaven belongs to the first who finds it.
Yes, maybe pears and apples! But not rocket pieces!
Death to those...
damned vultures!
Careful!
Let's go!
Rocket altitude: 90 kilometers.
Azamat, this is for you!
That's for you, Erzhan!
Take this, Grandson. This is our share!
Eat, Grandson!
Zhora... eat!
After paying 20 million dollars, space tourist Julie Mahé flew to the ISS
and arrived at 12 o'clock Moscow time.
Who needs the cosmos?
There are so many nice things in this world!
Can you hear me, Julie?
Julie Mahé will come back to earth in one week.
ENEMY IS LISTENING!
Down on earth they are paying a fortune for stamps with the ISS mark!
Can you bring me one?
Just one?
Yeah, bring me plenty!
Julie!
The connection is about to break. I'll sing you a lullaby.
Sleep, little brother, sleep tight...
Hey, radio guy!
A try with camel shit?
Do you wash your hair with this?
Iskander Orynbekov, called Gagarin,
becomes the first man to fly to space.
Ignition...
Launch...
Lift-off...
Have a good flight, Gagarin!
STOP FORBIDDEN ZONE!
Dear parents, I hope you rest in peace...
Gagarin?!
Are you scared to come in?
What do you want, madwoman?
Get lost!
My parents lie buried here!
Your rocket debris crushed them, eight years ago!
And now we're not allowed to go to the cemetery?!
He lost his parents too!
Get lost!
One and a half tons.
Makes 16 cans!
What... 16 cans?
How long will they last?
Why would we need this crap?
You must find titanium rockets!
Then you'll get a lot of cans!
This is really the last time...
If they catch me!
Their use-by dates have expired anyway.
This is food for cosmonauts. That stuff would survive a nuclear blast!
Aren't you tired of collecting junk with those invalids?
You think I'd rather do the filthy work here?
You want to become a cosmonaut straight away?
I'm having fun.
There's a disco here...
And girls! Millions of girls!
It's a complete waste of time talking to you!
On the International Space Station
space tourist Julie Mahé
took part in research programs.
Can you tell us how you feel up there?
Tomorrow Julie Mahé will fly back to earth all by herself...
We have arrived!
Capsule ready for return maneuver!
Where did you find this?
Capsule has not been sighted in our sector...
Go south-east and continue the search!
Moscow, this is number 11. No radio contact with capsule!
Wake up!
Poor darling...
Have they delayed the launch?
Are you asleep or something?
Lift-off is at 2.20 pm as planned...
The pieces will land 15 kilometers to the south-west!
Are you not coming?
No, Grandfather, I'm sick.
I didn't sleep all night, my head is pounding!
Fine grandson you've got!
A malingerer and a coward!
During the landing the GPS antenna of the capsule might has been damaged.
This complicates the search for space tourist Julie Mahé...
We hope that she soon will be found alive and healthy...
Our journalist is in Baikonur and will keep us updated...
Haul me up a bucket too.
Stop watering the sand!
I'll do the rest myself.
What's the matter?
Nothing!
Go! What are you waiting for?
I know what I'm doing!
Nazira!
I can't help.
She's in a coma!
But why?
Due to overheating during the landing, perhaps...
Don't wake her up...
She could get mad.
Just kiss her!
What? It didn't work?
That means you're a lousy kisser. You don't know how!
If you're so smart, then teach me!
I'm not your teacher!
Oh, sure! But you have no problem talking!
What?
Wait...
Enough...
I think I understood...
You have to lock the door!
Trust in Allah, but tie up your camel!
Where did she come from?
From up there! I found her out on the steppe.
The missing girl... the French girl?
Wake her up immediately and take her to Baikonur!
I can't, she's in a coma!
Well, so much the better.
As soon as she wakes up there will be trouble.
Who knows who she is!
Nothing's harder to find than a good melon
and a decent woman!
She is good! Very good!
We'll wrap her in a carpet
and take her out of here when it gets dark.
Perhaps you'll even get a reward!
Whatever falls from heaven is a gift from God
and belongs to the first who finds it.
Rockets and apples maybe, but certainly not astronauts!
The young are so clever and the world is so dumb...
So it didn't work out like in the fairytale?
No.
Then you'd better get her out of here.
She needs artificial feeding, otherwise she'll die.
It's all right, everything's okay.
Push!
Where am I?
If you don't find her today, you'll be in deep trouble!
Why didn't you calculate the crash?
You could have warned us!
I... ah...
You had better things to do, right?
Ok... Hide your Sleeping Beauty!
Fiancée!
May I...?
Hello. I am Rustam!
Fiancée?!
A pleasure to meet you!
Come outside with me, we need to talk.
Excuse us for a moment!
Koketaj... Have you gone mad?
Take Scherchan's motorbike and take her back to Baikonur!
She thinks she is my bride!
Have you told her the truth?
Dear neighbors!
I would like to invite you to my birthday party!
Thank you, honorable Agaj!
This turmoil is our chance!
Eat and drink, dear guests!
You don't turn sixty every day!
My wives!
Come on, fill the plates!
That's my present, Uncle Agaj!
Thank you, Gagarin!
Put it down there and sit down!
So?
The use-by date of these "delicacies" has expired!
Let's propose a toast
to our beautiful villa...
Tell us, Gagarin, who is this incomparable beauty?
This is...
Bravo, Gagarin! Congratulations!
And a barn full of children!
What sort of Koketaj is she?
She is the missing cosmonaut!
Cosmonaut or not, what does it matter? As long as they're happy!
A word with you...
I'll give you fifty thousand.
I'll make her my main wife!
But you already have three!
And I'm offering seventy thousand!
You don't have seventy thousand, you cursed vulture. Eighty thousand!
I'm allowed to have four, according to the law.
But I haven't got any!
Then nobody gets her!
Go, old hack!
Gagarin, wake up!
Adylgej has ridden off to Baikonur.
Take the cosmonaut back or they will arrest you!
Stop! Don't make yourself miserable!
They'll forgive you. You rescued her after all!
Where are you going?
If you touch her, you'll lose her!
My name is Julie Mahé!
My name is Julie!
All journalists stay near the bus!
Quick!
Put these on!
What is that?
Do what I say, or we are both facing the chop!
Ladies and gentlemen! We are here!
Dear journalists!
Here he is, our hero!
Our long-standing worker, Iskander... What was your name?
Orynbe... - Orynbekov!
Acting on our instructions, he set off across the steppe
to rescue the French tourist cosmonaut!
Bravo, Iskander Orynbekov!
And here she is...
in the best of health!
Where do I work?
How do I know... With the sheep?
Hey! Did you hear that? I'm a shepherd!
Ssh! Keep quiet, you madman!
Come to Baikonur and we'll see what can be done.
Watch out, my Grandson!
May Allah protect you!
Take care!
Take care of yourself!
Get her back, boy!
Good luck!
Gagarin!
You think you'll fly to the stars?
Everyone who dies becomes a star. Your parents, and mine too.
Flying into space is like desecrating a grave.
Turn around!
More to the right...
Put the broom down!
Put your hand up!
Like you're really important!
Shooting!
Just like an engineer!
Listen, Timur!
Can you send the photo to this number?
Orrl-lite... Should I write something?
Ask her when she's coming!
Come in, please!
We have metal for you!
Hey, we're going to the disco tonight. Want to come?
I don't feel like it.
Wimp! Think of all those girls!
It's for you!
Only for cosmonauts and training staff!
This was not the deal!
Iskander, from Kungej...
Gagarin!
What do you want? I'm in a hurry!
A decent job, not cleaning train tracks!
Or shall I go to the press?
Okay, Gagarin, let's go! But don't complain later!
Did you really ask for this job? Respect!
The ones before you were transferred for disciplinary reasons!
If cosmonauts can survive this, why not me?
Technical test starts in 30 seconds!
Check security systems!
I hope the centrifuge doesn't make trouble like last time...
Let's see, what the village boy is capable of... Acceleration 2 G!
Start the rotation!
Acceleration 4 G!
Acceleration 6 G!
Just like Gagarin!
Let's try 8 G!
Go, go, faster!
Where do you go?
Stop! Stop!!!
Have you seen him?
Do you know him?
You?
I need your help.
Teach me how to use the radio.
Teach you?
Come on, explain it to me.
Or do you want the old people to starve?
First you clamp the antennae cable here...
then you take the plug and switch to "Connection".
Then you dial through the frequencies.
Understood?
Thank you.
You should come back!
I want to stay in Baikonur.
Then...
Good luck!
Come in... Come in!
Don't work with the others!
Come in, please!
All vital factors are within norms!
Go! Today we don't need you!
Wait four months until she comes back!
Slowly come up... Slowly.
Pull her straight up!
Training finished! First release the cosmonaut!
14 hours until start!
Timur! We must delay lift-off! - What?!
I say we must delay lift-off!
Delay lift-off? Think before you speak!
Such a risk!
Would you do it for this?
No risk, no gain! But how do we pull it off?
I know how!
Is this all you miss from your village?
I'll explain it later. Thank you.
Eight hours until start!
What's going on?
Director Oleg Ivanovich! Soyuz is ready to start
but we detected a fault at the launch site.
Have you completely forgotten how to work?
The launch has been postponed!
Gagarin? They've delayed lift-off!
Everything's orrl-lite!
Cosmonauts, report back in 11 hours!
That's enough! Take the shit away.
Why? Let them sweat a bit longer!
That was a brilliant idea!
But it only works with camel shit from Kungej.
We did it, guys!
Ready for lift-off preparation!
Cosmonauts, return to launch site!
Listen, Gagarin,
the Russians start bringing in the "harvest" themselves.
But why?
You get cancer from that stuff. Even gas masks don't help.
But how are our people going to survive?
What do you care? You've got a great job here!
Rustam wanted to share the prey with the other village.
Adylgej attacked him and fell down from the horse.
Shame on you for saying that!
How much longer do you plan to fight?
Oh, we long made it up.
We're just squabbling out of boredom...
What else can you do here?
Come on, Adylgej!
Do it!
Listen, Gagarin...
Go your own way in the city!
We old ones are only a burden for the youth.
Enough!
Hey, Gagarin!
Where are you going? Are you crazy?
Salam-aleikum! - Aleikum-salam!
I need two lambs: a boy and a girl.
Balshan! Hey, Balshan!
What's up, Grandpa?
Choose two lambs for this man, a boy and a girl!
For breeding?
Yes!
These are our best ones, they're called Mars and Venus.
How much?
6000 tenge for both.
Pretty expensive!
Don't be stingy!
Today you are buying a boy and a girl, and in two years you'll have a flock!